Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fuck appropriateness.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
