I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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