just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
