well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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