Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
