can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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