yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
