The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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