Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
