whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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