Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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