Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
