Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
