my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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