Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
