so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My friends, they love my intelligence
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's never too late to be topless.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
