it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
