I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
