wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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