the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
