love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
