Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
