i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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