her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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