so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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