The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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