it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
