DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
