i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
