Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
