Having a random hookup so left but love u
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
