u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
