Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
