I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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