Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think my moral compass just broke
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
