I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
