he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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