oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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