After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
