what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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