your room smells of hookers.
And success
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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