im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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