so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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