take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
