Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
