Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
