Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
