I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
