Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
