she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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