alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
