He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
we should paint friendship bongs
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