I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
