do herpes really smell.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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