She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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