He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
