I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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