Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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