when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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